My Life My Destiny

Personal: Summer Paradise

2012-02-03T01:27:00.001-08:00

3 February 2012

Summer; the warmest of the four seasons. New loves, hanging out with friends and beaches, it's magical.

I wanna be what I wanna be. I never promissed you a happy ending. He texted me a couple of times, but then a million words would not bring me back, I know because I've tried. Sometimes it's letting go that makes me stronger. I made a choice to finally let go, because I can't stand the puzzle anymore. Regret coming home huh?!

I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have. Promoted - The worst feeling in the world; knowing I've been used and lied to. Nothing to be proud of. Enormous political influence.

Finally, loved the beach. The smell of the salty water, the wind in my face, the gentle roar of the waves all combine to create a sense of peace and calm. My Blue-Sand searched attempt continues.

Someday, I wish i could fall in Love with someone who will catch my dreams.

Personal: Summer Breeze

2012-01-15T00:04:00.000-08:00

15 January 2011

5 text messages and 1 missed call. The easiest way to forget about the past is to focus on something in the present. Sitting in the woods, thinking. 3 years of separation anxiety.

Every girl has that one guy she goes back to, heartbreak after heartbreak and nobody knows why, not even her. I drew hearts all over the sand today and for the first time in forever, these hearts, they werent for you. There comes a time when I have to choose between turning the page or just closing the book. Will you listen to me?

I hate you: The rest of the day is just screwed up when you get up late, prone to indecision, keep everything bottled up, throw everything away over ego and escape.

I like to think that I was created for a special purpose to be with you. It's too much, it's too tough. Maybe it's time to discuss.

Personal: Looking Back

2011-12-30T23:57:00.000-08:00

31 December 2011

Abraham Lincoln once said: "My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh - anything but work.” My oh My. Inspiration to CHANGE for 2012.

Resolutions for 2012
1. Careers : Maybe I'll live my whole life just getting by. No Passion or any Initiative. To be the best person I can be. Strive to live my life to the fullest. Citi is just a temporary Solution. Teaching or Business Development!

2. Study : Clearing 18 credits. To acquire balance means to achieve that happy medium between the minimum and the maximum that represents the optimum. The minimum is the least I can get by with a B-. The maximum is the most I'm capable of an A?. The optimum is the amount or degree of anything that is most favorable toward the ends I desire. CGPA 3.30.

3. Travel : I've never been to New Zealand before. I like doing things that scare little out of me. Bungee Jump (My parents gonna kill me before I jump), Zorbing (Losing weight for it's sake). My first Backpacking experience. Can't wait! Start Planning. Cambodia. Make it small and simple enough to take into rural areas.

Simple. Looking Back to 2011:

Best Memories:
1. Kuching, Sarawak: I am more than I know myself to be. Thanks Molly, Geik Oon and Poh Lynn.
2. MBA Offered: I take the challenges day by day.

Regrets:
1. I don't make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining. I make progress by CHANGING.

To My Love Buds:
I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were here. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do...I think I'm in love with you. Maybe. Slowly.

Cheers to 2011. Welcome 2012. Time to on Exam Mode.

Personal: Perception, Motivation & Behavior

2011-11-22T03:18:00.001-08:00

5 December 2011

I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. I am simple, complex, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy and driven.

To The Perception:
There comes a time when I have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. I am definitely not a player.

To The Motivation:
Motivation made me hungry. Destiny gave me my agenda and the Lord gave me his blessings. I may be bent, but not broken, everything happens for a reason. Because if GOD brings me to it, HE will bring me through it.

To The Behavior:
I have my specific vacation or mission in life. To work is to discover, then with all my heart I make my life a mission not an intermission. If i had to build castles in the air, I'll build it with courage and determination.

MBA Semester 1: Flawless
Bungee Jumping: Here I come!

Personal: Stay Focus

2011-08-18T01:40:00.000-07:00

18 August 2011

Healthy mind really is true and i need my mind to be healthy to stay on top of things.I am happy to make the decision to go on a soul-searching holiday.

Mission 1: Savings. 14K Per Year. Kill my debt first.Stop using credit cards. Average saving 1.3K per month. Gotta work damn hard.

Mission 2: Get a Job. The sooner you treat your son as a man, the sooner he will be one. Mum is giving me choices to grow up. Spreading my wings on maturity.

Mission 3: Rewards Travel. Eyeing East Asia, Ocenia and Europe. At least one.

I always reflect on what I’ve done, weather it is reading a post I did awhile ago.By focusing on the results, it is easier for me to maintain my motivation especially when working on things that I am not by nature motivated by.

Duration: 2 Years! Buck Up Sassy girl!

Personal: Laugh Out Loud

2011-07-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

23 July 2011

Time for a Positive Change. "Kereneh", "Potong Stim" . "Eh!" Happiness, we say, is a choice. So lately what is wrong with me? Here's the updates.

Travel Blues: Sympathy out there when returning from my holiday - Bali; supposing my inner peace sanctuary nursing a serious case of heartbreak from work. I pushed friends away, I spent a lot of time in my flat; Readjusting to what? Reality. I wished my life was in a suitcase, where I can ventured into the unknown constantly. Spending hours by the pool side doing nothing and hell yes I missed the feeling of doing nothing. Nobody asking me "Where's your BF (did I ever said I got one first)?" or "Are you seeing someone lately?" Hell I been watched by the Moon instead.

The Ex-Boyfriend Blues - Maybe the story is always the same. There's a reason why I am your ex and not your "awet" anymore. When a relationship ends it is natural to miss the good times. Handle rejection well. So don't take it personally. "Normal Friend Activity" and stay sane. Do I miss having a boyfriend . I'm afraid to be alone or because I'm one of those girls who need to have a boyfriend? I miss travelling more. It seems like that attitude is changing.

1 Best Guy Friend Sucks - Haha. I read. and I read. and then I read some more. All's fair in love and war, they say, it's good to have some guy friends that you hang out with. Totally not interested, you'll have a very hard time making me offer you instant gratification. Do things you like to do. If you're busy and having fun; It shows that you're going on with your life and having a better time without me. A new toy doll created by the train wreck - Amy Winehouse. Trist " got it?

At Positive Outcomes :

I started appreciating what I had. My Clothes, Shoes, accessories, Sassy's stuff. Start planning now for next year's vacation. Cambodia and East Asia! I got some sleep ; Anti-Social in the weekdays laying under my bed comforter with a good book. Taking a step back allowed me to see the person I was becoming. Think wise as I am growing older (ouch 30's is coming some sex and city stunts perhaps?) Smile a lot , my ability. Contiguously Carls, Chris, and I could even make Joanne smile with her work stress. Hang around positive people! (sadly I found none lately) Not to mention my team-mate - the handsome when he is serious J, Mr(s) Minoru who complaints I've been high and I've been low as I commented his Subway addicts is gonna caused him have serious body odour problems soon. You guys rock with my nasty remarks and my bitchy mouth "perli" No offense that I loved you guys!

Never say “yes” on the phone; instead, say, “I’ll get back to you.” Folks yeah I am living in CITI hell working from 9.30a.m to 10.30pm lately (forgot to mentioned that I am sulking in my room blogging now on Friday night can you believe it?) Do childish things - Hmm yay I flirt and flirt and flirt I still do. And make no sense of what I am doing. Someone is gonna be the exceptional. I had been move. well, we'll judge it later.

Still addicted : Thanks for the Memories by Cecelia Ahern.

When in doubt, choose happiness over being right.

Indonesia: Denpasar, Bali.

2011-07-01T23:29:00.000-07:00

26 - 30 June 2011

The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress can be found in Bali.

Day 1 & 2: Touring the Culture and Nature
I stood on the ridge named Kintamani enjoying fresh mountain air and a scenic view of active Batur volcano. Great respect for this particular goddess. Proceed to Batubulan Village for Barong and Kris dance and Ubud Village a handicraft village. it takes both rain and sunshine to make me smile. Drop by Tampaksiring a holy spring temple and Bendulu Village for Elephant Cave.

Day 3: Touring the Southern Coast
Worship toward thy holy templeat Bukit Peninsula the holy temple Uluwatu. Amazing traditional and dance music; Kechak or Monkey dance of the Ramayana Story. My favourite, Jimbaran served good grill seafood dinner.

Day 4: Journey of the Northwest
Mengwi Village the Royal Family Temple. Journey continues to Bedugul. It's enduring fresh mountain air and scenic beauty of the Lake Beratan and it's Ulun Danu temple.
Last but not least, Tanah Lot

Day 5: Departing Bali

We're pretty boring. We get good sleep. Eat well. We don't really party at all, which is going to make our tour a peaceful one.

Expenses:RM1390.99

Personal: Destinations

2011-05-17T23:58:00.000-07:00

12 May 2011

That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. - John 3:6

I have the competitive spirit * MBA Application in USM on the way *!. Positive!

Lately i had been discussing with Joanne regarding our trips. Cambodia and Macau should be our innitial plan. However i could heard the red rock of Uluru is shouting my name. I am waiting to be "Wow" away by your beauty Red Rocks! Fingers crossed so we decided to narrow down it to East Asia and Ocenia

East Asia - Guangzhou, Shenzhen, Macau, Hong Kong

Australia - Undecided. Planning to get my dream book: 501 Must Visit Cities.

Remember that happiness is a way of travel. We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there.

Recent addiction: Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars and Thanks for the Memories by Cecelia Ahern.

Malaysia: Kuching, Sarawak

2011-04-25T06:27:00.000-07:00

22 - 25 April 2011

* Meow * Kuching, Sarawak. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. Local Favorites; Mee Kolo: Above Satisfactory, Bihun Belacan: Nightmare, Sarawak Laksa: Good.

Day 1: Kuching City Tour:
Colourful shop-houses and trendy urban architecture. Tua Pek Kong temple, Astana, Sarawak River, Cat Museum, and proudly the one and only Chinese Museum. Jalan Carpenter a must go for shopaholic.

Day 2: Semenggoh Orang Utan Rehabilitation, Sarawak Cultural Village Tour & Annah Rais Longhouse:
We visited the Annah Rais Longhouse village, home to the Bidayuh that practice a traditional lifestyle. A simple life highly valued cultural heritage. The ‘Living Museum’ represented here through the Bidayuh Longhouse, Iban Longhouse, Penan Hut, Orang Ulu Longhouse, Melanau Tall House, Malay House and Chinese Farm House. Amazing show from the ‘Land of the Hornbill’s’. Orang Utan; these tailless apes spend most of their time foraging for food, a fragile creature.

Day 3: Fairy & Wind Cave & Ma Zu Temple
This caves is a cool stream. Knocked out. Bats'poo! Slippery Senoirs and Senoritas. OMG! Torch Light; check! It was fun!! Entrance- the gates of the temple are amazing!

Day 4: Home Sweet Home.

Expenses: RM804

Malaysia: Alor Setar, Kedah Darul Aman

2011-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

9 April 2011

*Passport?* Where the hell are we going dudes? Journey starts approximately: 8am. *Yawn!* The unexpected always happens; the arrivals and departures of pleasure.

Alor Setar. The unexpected always happens. Antique town. A meaningful trip for all.

It was wonderful. I was really impressed. Happy Birthday to me.

Personal: Waiting Is Regret

2011-03-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

10 March 2011

It might be hard to be lovers, but it's harder to be friends. Some things we haven't said, it's hard to find forgiveness and we'll leave the broken pieces on the floor. I am sorry; for making you think that i was worth the while to wait. The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.

My broken heart makes me afraid to trust - in love, friendship, family. I feel a little fearful of it happening again. I do many foolish things and create many non logical tactics to keep my heart secure but the truth is I just run away avoiding commitments.

I am not happy at work. Autocratic Leadership Style - disturbances and disagreements. Team members have little opportunity for making suggestions, even if these would be in the team or organization’s best interest. Office politics in more detail is to view it as a series of games. Family business - quirky. Am i ready; Ice Heiress. Friendship - You may be deceived if you trust too much, life happens at the level of events, not of words.

I am confuse. Waiting.

Personal: In Between

2011-03-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

3 March 2011

My brother, Simon and Jason commented on general characteristics of a woman who is mature. By definition, firstly, you need to be very confident. Mine: low. Jason: Strong Brother: Confident. Myself: Extremely low. Secondly if you are an outdoors person, you have an added advantage. Jason: Loud and Happy-Go-Lucky. Sport- Two thumbed up Brother: Arrogant B.I.T.C.H. Myself: Anti- Social.

Lately my choices: Shopping: Books. Entertainment: Movies. The King’s Speech – a stammering tongue; king. He did take a remarkable amount of courage, though he never admitted it. Travel: Nepal and Italy.

In reality unavoidable: Shopping: None. Entertainment: Fine-dining, Movies in marathon style, and etc. Travel: Sarawak, Bali (in wishing list: Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, Bangkok, Laos, Cambodia, and Shanghai, China.)

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you'” Jason: Did I ever treat you badly? Erm.. None if I could remember. Brother: Please don’t ever break his heart. Me: Afraid of commitment. Suffocation and panic attack.

I'm very mature for my age, but I'm also innocent in a lot of ways. The rumble goes on…

Personal: Passport

2011-02-13T04:40:00.000-08:00

13 February 2011

I am experiencing "Job Burnout". - Once upon a time i loved going to work everyday. I no longer feel that way. I can't stand doing my job anymore and changing environment hasn't helped. It could be time to find a career that will inspire. Changing jobs is no easy task and the decision can have significant repercussions on all aspects of my life.

The Diner - Reminded me the initial reason why i am back here: Penang. Where are you? What are you doing, exactly?

My Passport : Thailand, Vietnam. Your Passport: Australia, Thailand and etc. A competition? Seeking for Inner Peace. For our broken hearts.

In Vietnam, i did receive your message. 10 February 2011- I did received your missed call 2 am in the morning. Finally you reached me on 11 February 2011. I told you i am sleeping. You sound disappointing. I didn't call. You tracked me by my international number. To travel alone is to find the answers you’ve been seeking and discover the questions to all your unfounded thoughts.

On the actual day we take responsibility for ourselves, our lives begin to change. By frolicking in the unknown we’re able to witness these patterns from afar and see how we react to them.

I want to quit my job! To go on my own spiritual journey.

Personal: It's All 'Bouts Me

2011-01-22T03:56:00.001-08:00

22 January 2011

Everybody keeps telling me I'm such a lucky girl. An Ice Heiress.

Lately, i am facing a mental disorder which drives myself toward self-destruction. She is obsessed with him, battling an ongoing dynamic problem with the water for the team - holly ass for 4 months. We don't want to rock the boat. Everybody is trying real hard not to rock the boat. I am learning to be patient as i promised Jenny I will.

Irritability is immaturity of character. Yes you are annoying. If you are subject to being cross and unpleasant with others for no apparent reason, you need to come face-to-face with the fact that you are thinking too much of yourself. After all, your feelings are not the most important things in this world.

I had enough. Principle to "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil my dear Mizaru, Kikazaru and Iwazaru. Bombastic Witch.

I am going to stay positive. ....Traveling....Shopping....Reading....stay sane.

Personal: Reaching Year 2011

2010-12-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

5 December 2010

Families - It's getting together as a family. Bid goodbye to Aunt "Jahit" and Uncle Tan. Welcomed Mai Hong Hoa. Met my precious baby cousins from Sabah twice. A very special moment for my family. How many betrayals there may have been, how much misery in the family: we remain connected, even against our wills.

Friends - Win, lose or draw, we are still friends. Separations;We are still friends and I would miss you, do miss you and think of you very often though we are not talking to each other anymore. Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. I found a few and still searching for more.

Love -He's in a position to move himself away. I think that triumph over the moving on and finding self-love and yourself and your voice is something that we both all need to do.

Career - It's kind of a shocker.Really focused and it's going to be tough to beat- Human Attitude

Personal Achievements - Travelling the road of observation, attention, perseverance; Outbound Vietnam and Thailand. Inbound - Kedah, Perak, Kuala Lumpur and Selangor. Becoming increasingly materialistic - I-Phone present from the heart. Sarawak and Bali awaiting.

It wasn't pretty, but at least i got it done, and I'm happy about that.- to start a new year, a new chapter.

Vietnam: Vinh Long and Ho Chi Minh City

2010-11-22T00:48:00.001-08:00

12-21 November 2010

The Simple Life is a dumb reality television series. However in Vietnam, it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. Paddy fields, no alarm clock at all, wild bunch of coconuts, proudly to announce i survived!

Vinh Long

Roaming through the jungle of "oohs" and "ahs," watch the river slipping slowly away beneath me; I felt peaceful. They call me 'The Anti-Pork Princess,' they don't know how much I enjoy it.

Ho Chi Minh City

Suffering from heavy traffic. A continual atmosphere of hectic passion - Lost. We have a problem in making our way as English is not widely spoken.

I am a lucky girl. This trip had made me realized that knowing how things work is the basis for appreciation, and is thus a source of happiness.

Expenses: RM939.50

Thailand: Songkla City and Hat Yai

2010-09-11T22:45:00.000-07:00

4 and 5 September 2010

People have asked me what is the difference between Chinese food and Thai food. I tell them Chinese foods are more traditional like stir fry, but a lot of the Thai foods are hotter and spicier, cooked with curry. I was wrong. Thai Food can be explain by two words : HOT and SOUR.

The day started at 5.30am (Malaysian Time) with a shock at the Thai Immigration counter. The queue was sickening and yet we managed to get through it within 20 minutes. Reached Hat Yai City at 9.00 am (Thailand Time).

Songkla City - Sitting on a beach? Nope! We are standing under the rain!

Klonghae Floating Market - This very interesting attraction.

Hatyai nightlife features colorful and lively entertainment! I am loving it!

Expenses: min RM105

Thailand: Phuket, Phi Phi Island and Phang Nga Bay

2010-07-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

27 June 2010 - 30 June 2010

Phuket is an island in the south of Thailand.

Day 1: Phuket Town
Greeted by Thao Thep Krasatri and Thao Sri Soonthorn, the two heroines of Phuket. Proceed to Wat Chalong, the largest of Phuket's temples. Sleepy. Checked-in Deevana Patong Resort & Spa, Patong. Much looking forward to Fantasea; the theme park with cultural shows in Kamala Beach. Impressive acrobatics show.

Day 2: Phi Phi Island
Seasick day. Departure from Phuket Pier. Duh! Arrive at Phi Phi Don Pier. Nothing much and the weather was so bad. End up fallen asleep in the Sea Angel Cruise. Lunch at Phi Phi Don and relax on beach. Huh! Relax? I felt stress up with the rains. Done nothing much. Definitely not recommended.

Day 3: Phang Nga Bay (James Bond Island)
Stop at the popular Monkey Caves (Wat Suwankuha) to see the large reclining golden Buddha inside the caves and the large flocks of monkeys outside. Scary. Proceed to travel by long tail boat for lunch at Koh Pannyi, a floating Muslim fishing village. Loves the fried chicken despite having tummy upset. Ko Tapu rock formation comes into view after 15 minutes ride in the long-tail boat. Night shopping in Jungceylon. Loved today!

Day 4: Phuket Town
Visited the world's biggest Gems Jewelry Store. Stranded in Phuket Airport for 6 hours. Phew! Home Sweet Home.

Total expenses: min RM1235.90

Malaysia: Maxwell Hill (Bukit Larut) and Kuala Sepetang, Taiping, Perak

2010-07-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

19 June 2010

Maxwell Hill or Bukit Larut was founded in the 1880's by the then William Edward Maxwell was appointed Assistant Resident of Perak. I don't think we can blame the track- an old jeep. It's bumpy for everybody and not everybody is having the same problem.

Kuala Sepetang (Port Weld) is a fishing village near Taiping and is famous for its fresh seafood. A wealth of seafood, hidden restaurant.

Malaysia: Gunung Jerai, Kedah

2010-04-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

18 April 2010

Ai Wah, Wei Shwu and Kenny - respect to how long it's going to take us to get down the hill, Kenny have a whole lot of experience driving this vehicle downhill -- we've been going uphill with AFR 306 Myvi Silver. The road uphill and the road downhill are one and the same.

It turned out to be an amazing birthday.This is driving us crazy. Thai food at home? Mae Salone.

Malaysia: Penang (Ep 1-Special Edition)

2010-04-14T23:08:00.001-07:00

28 April 2010

We all have hometown appetites. My hometown, Penang. Yes, I am a "Penang Kia". From cheap and tasty hawker food to restaurants, colorful events, heritage and culture, real estate property; it is just simply one of the best.

Esplanade & Fort Cornwallis, Penang

The food court is opposite the Penang State Asembly building at Esplanade.

Penang Town Hall was laid in 1879.

Fort Cornwallis is the largest standing fort in Malaysia today.

The Queen Victoria Memorial Clocktower is one of the most recognizable icons of Penang Island.

In Malaysia, Bon Odori Festivals are also celebrated every year in Penang

Penang Museum & Art Gallery

Penang Museum and Art Gallery is a beautiful landmark existed as early as 1940.

Convent Light Street

The Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus, universally known as Convent Light Street, is the oldest girls' school in Penang as well as in Malaysia. My Alma Mater.

Eastern and Oriental Hotel

A tranquil haven in the bustling heart of Penang, this Grande Dame of historical, colonial charm offers its guests the finest traditions of luxury and service.

Sarkies Corner - the delicious fare of the hotel’s restaurants.

Penang High Court

Straits colonial engineers of the Public Works Department did such a great job in 1905 as the building stood the test of time with two World Wars behind it.

Bayview Hotel Georgetown Penang

The Revolving Restaurant is the crown jewel of Bayview Hotel Georgetown.

The Sire Museum Restaurant

Western cuisine set in an old colonial style ambiance, the back portion of the building is a mini Museum housing the late Yeap Chor Ee's antique

Personal: My Birthday

2010-04-14T23:06:00.001-07:00

15 April 2010

Wondering when those wonder years melted away? I am 25 on 10 April 2010. Darn! I had a lot of time to think, and that is not good for your mind. And when it actually happened, it was not so much a celebration but the relief.

Bella Italia - With Sharon and Cathryn. My favorite kitchen was the Japanese and the Italian kitchen. I love the Italian way of life. I love the food.

Tao Authentic Asian Cuisine - With Grace, Molly and Lik Chuen. As far as food goes, I'm pretty easy. I love Japanese food. My Chawanmushi!

Kim Gary Restaurant - With Guan Lee, Jason and Stanley. The key to eating real Chinese food is don't ask what it is-Pork!

Sushi King - With Jason, Sharon and Cathryn. RM2 Bonanza. Money is tight. I'm seeing a lot less sushi this year than I've seen in a long time.

Apex Coffee - With James and Vincent. Great food with real local flavor is just a short ride away.

I believed maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated

Love: Broken

2010-03-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

27 March 2010

Everyone wanted to know why I did it. Old lovers, ex-boyfriends, anyone you have unresolved issues with you are bound to run into again and again until you resolve them. I can't do this friendship/relationship thing anymore, so off I go. Don't hate me for this, this is what pain is making me do. My heart is broken in so many a part,

All we have to believe with is our senses, the tools we use to perceive the world: our sight, our touch, our memory. If they lie to us, then nothing can be trusted. If the man sitting before you cannot tell you the truth and you cannot trust anything he says, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too. This is it.

2002-2009. Quoting: Love is like grass. If you fall on it, it may leave a stain and some temporary pain. But you’ll get over the pain, it will eventually stop hurting. Now maybe the stain ruined your favorite pair of jeans, or maybe it was nothing special that was ruined, but either way the stain remains there. And with time, it will begin to fade, but it will always be there, a permanent reminder that you, too, once fell.

I have stepped off the relationship scene to come to terms with myself. I have spent most of my adult life being 'someone's girlfriend', and now I am happy being single.

Sorry.

Malaysia: Fraser Hill, Pahang

2010-01-30T21:32:00.001-08:00

16 January 2010

Our journey is up-hill. A strange collection of Victorian landmarks. Victorian terraces are built to exceedingly high densities, yet because of their high ceilings and clever design, they feel more spacious than modern homes. I just love it.

This little bit of rain was really a blessing. The grass looks a whole lot greener. It's filled with small, round houses and thousands of brightly-colored flowers. Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul into.

We're in a beautiful garden with all these trees and plants. Fraser Hill.

Malaysia: Telok Tempoyak and Monkey Beach, Penang

2010-01-17T02:29:00.000-08:00

15 November 2009 and 5 December 2009

What's really important in life? Sitting on a beach? Looking at television eight hours a day? I think we have to appreciate that we're alive for only a limited period of time, and we'll spend most of our lives working.

We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings. Celebrating my two best friends' Birthday: Jason and Cathryn

Telok Tempoyak -like other seaside locations, all feature fried seafood platters and various stuffed dishes.

Monkey Beach - There's a lot of stress. It's really not a picnic. Haunted.

Friendship: Male Chauvinist

2009-12-20T01:12:00.000-08:00

13 December 2009

When a friendship is ending, if we could simply feel our feelings and move on, we would hurt less. We're also fairly stubborn, I think, fairly independent.

I lose my cool. All I know is I'm saying this, and somebody's going to read it and say he is a male chauvinist.

If a thing goes without saying -- let it.

Love: Horoscopes

2009-11-14T20:13:00.000-08:00

15 November 2009

I am an Aries - As an Aries woman i need to be satisfy immediately my desires. The signs said I breaks up with a man if he doesn’t satisfy me. In case he does, I can be absolutely caring and faithful. True. Love of Aries is touching but, like a naughty child, I expect my caprices to be fulfilled. Like children, I like to boast and like to be “greeted with applause”. Fun. I may be deeply attached but not for a long time. When getting bored, I give up everything and disappear. Very true. I gave up on Mima and eventually I left him in a cold-blooded way.

Des Honey is a Gemini - For Taurus feelings and wishes is the same thing. His passion is deep and overwhelming; he keeps on going till the end, no matter how bitter this end can be. Taurus can’t be stopped in his pursuit towards love neither by criticism, nor by inconveniences or obstacles of any type. Love horoscope Taurus highlights the importance of this sphere for this sign, usually very practical and rational. How i wished i am married to him.

Jason Hubby is a Scorpio - Scorpio is a passionate nature, has a bent for extremes of all kind, including love. It seems he is just made for it. He is longing for love by all his nature. Pity my beloved Hubby. Will he gets back the love in return?

Khoo Darling and Maria Sis are Aquarius - He/She often idealizes his soul mate, then gets disappointed and abandons his/her love to become friends with his ex-lover. Serious? No Way! A warning to Aquarius: don’t sacrifice love for the sake of friendship. Gosh!

Ai Wah Lover is a Sagittarius - They seek a partner that occupies a higher position in society than they themselves. In return, they give their passion and devotion. Yes my lover is an ambitious woman.

Gosh!

Personal: High Expectations

2009-11-08T19:14:00.000-08:00

9 November 2009

I'm the youngest of the group and everybody's sort of married and evolved in their lives and I'm pretty much the drifter and it's about how we deal with relationships and how money will effect friendships.

It's not a simple issue. New money comes with new, sometimes unpleasant responsibilities. I do believed Kenny. Expectations.The secret to true happiness is a combination of low expectations and insensitivity. Mine, the other way.

High Expectations : MBA to PHD. Branded clothes and lifestyles. Traveling.
High Sensitivity : Emotional

Another formula: Happiness equals reality minus expectations

Reality : Bankruptcy stage
Expectations: As per above "High Expectations"

Done! Anger always comes from frustrated expectations. I am done!

Work it out!

Cooking: Butter Cakes

2009-10-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

16 October 2009

Ingredients and cake tin sizes:

Round tin sizes	6 inches	8 inches	10 inches	12 inches
Square tin sizes	5 inches	7 inches	9 inches	11 inches
Butter	75g	150g	300g	600g
Castor sugar	75g	150g	300g	600g
Self raising flour	85g	170g	340g	680g
Salt	a pinch	a pinch	a pinch	a pinch
Baking powder	1/4 tsp	1/2 tsp	1 tsp	2 tsp
Eggs	2	4	8	16
Milk	1 tbsp	2 tbsp	4 tbsp	8 tbsp
Vanilla essence	3/4 tsp	1 1/2 tsp	3 tsp	6 tsp

Method:

Preheat oven to 170 degrees Celsius.

Beat butter and sugar till soft and creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add salt.

In a separate bowl, sift flour, baking powder and salt 3 times. Fold in the sifted ingredients into the creamed mixture alternately with milk, starting and ending with flour.

Finally add in vanilla essence and combine well. Pour batter into a greased and floured cake tin and bake for 35 to 40 minutes until a skewer inserted in the centre of the cake comes out clean.

Remove cake from oven and let it cool completely before decorating it.

You can't bake an butter cake without breaking an egg.Baking is problematic for me because I usually sweat a lot when I cook!

This is a perfect opportunity for friendship building. Everybody can feel they can make a difference, ... from baking cakes.

Jason and Guan Lee - Life's truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way

Personal: Hospitalization

2009-10-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

30 September 2009

A hospital is no place to be sick. Admitted to Gleneagles Medical Centre. I'm the gastric patient. There is a mental edge that comes with the injections, and it's definitely something that gets you more intense.

There's no need to panic about this...i am recovering. The most important things to do are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you. Live a positive healthy life. Jason, Kenny, Wei Shwu, Ai Wah, Sharon and Stanley i love you guys.

Friendship: My Keeper

2009-09-24T07:01:00.001-07:00

24 September 2009

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.

Mima, A knife wound heals; a wound caused by words does not. Questions.

Jason, my "contract" hubby. Wei Shwu, my wife. Maria, my sister. Joanne, my roomies. Chris, my nighties mate. Shen, my chatting mate. Jason G, my brother. Des, my thunder boy. LH, my accountee; and the list goes on.

Some believe strongly that each Christian may have his own guardian angel assigned to watch over him or her. You offered me a shoulder to cry on by being someone who understands. You are the people in my life who give me comfort when the going gets tough, as it invariably does. I can count on you for a shoulder to cry on. You will lift me up when i fall, hold me in your arms as i cry and tell me every things going to be okay. I am so thankful for you people.

Complaints: Solitary

2009-09-18T01:28:00.001-07:00

18 September 2009

Is there anything better than to be longing for something, when you know it is within reach? Friendship never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishing s.

I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that we are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind me. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But I will overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how I think about myself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never live.

Friends. Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The motto should not be: Forgive one another; rather, Understand one another.

It is better to be alone than in bad company. The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom. I need quiet time to examine my lives openly and honestly. . . spending quiet time alone gives my mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.

I miss you. I really do.

Personal: Arghh...Tired!

2009-09-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

18 September 2009

Tired of thinking. Tired of the lies. Tired of working.

I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility as I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me.

WShen: Oh, for God's sake . . . get a life, will you?

Me : Pray that they get a life and stop living mine! To Ever Get a Life...You
First Must LIVE Through One

WShen: I quit, I give up, nothing's good enough for anybody else, it seems...When
I'm all alone it's the best way to be.

(rolling my eyes; damn encouraging and supportive buddy)

WShen: You're quitting, that's not how you cope with problems, stop moping around.

(huh! turnaround?)

Me : The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

WShen: Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and
make a new ending.

Me : In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and
always wonder.

This is my wish for myself: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.

Test from GOD.

Complaints: Running Away

2009-09-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

12 September 2009

I want to quit recently. This job has given me no chance to do things that I never dreamed possible. Sigh!

A people without faith in themselves cannot survive. Heck. I've finally stopped running away from myself. Who else is there better to be? It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.

Running away will never make me free. Most people think life sucks, and then you die.

As a principle-centered person i should try to stand apart from the emotion of the situation and from other factors that would act on me, and evaluate the options. Looking at the balanced whole--the work needs, the family needs, the other needs that may be involved, and the possible implications of the various alternatives -- I'll try to come up with the best solution taking all factors into consideration.

Sigh! Quit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0et-zyoKLw

Personal: Memoirs

2009-09-02T06:46:00.000-07:00

5 September 2009

As I look back on all that's happened..growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me -- there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime lover Mr Mima, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.

Received your SMS on 4 September 2009 2:22am:

" Pei. Im happy for you now that you have found your mr. Right. Cherish every moment you have with him. Love him show him your concern and affection. I know you can do it, you are a successful person."

I do not remember days, I remember moments. Maybe if I share the path I walk then a little more of your pain will vanish. I want you to heal, wherever you are. I don't care what pain you've brought to our world, I just want yours to subside. No matter what, your path is yours. Don't follow misery or worry. Devote every moment of your life to improving your dreams. Love your world. Cherish the good you do. Let go of hatred. Dream of love.

I am so infinitely happy that you loves me so much, and I pray that it will always be like this. It won't be your fault that you want to stop loving me. Love is like energy. It can never be created nor destroyed...it is just always there. You just have to realize that fact and you have to learn that as soon as you stopped loving me in the way you did that love left to somewhere else half year ago. Now all you have to do is find out where that love went. That love went to whoever the next person in your life will be. That next person could be one of your friends or someone you might dislike, you just have to find that out.

I am the same as I always will be; loving you always.

Fun: Food(s) for Taste

2009-08-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

20 August 2009

Food is an important part of a balanced diet; not mine anyway coz i am a Penang Kia!

Tai Tong Restaurant, Dim Sum

Ismail Ikan Bakar

I Mum Mum Pan Mee

Fruits Juice and Jackfruit Ice Kacang

Beef Keow Teow

Maxim Sg Nibong Dim Sum

"Oh-Yoh" Jelly Dessert

Penang Laksa

Hau You Seafood

Sakae Sushi

Winter Warmers

Ritz Cake House

Nandos

Crepe Cottage

Pancakes

Khun Thai Seafood

Straits Kitchen

TGI Friday

Penang Cendol

Bukit Genting Hillside

Pulau Aman

Personal: Sick Recovery

2009-08-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

19 August 2009

I am sick. I just want to vomit. The headache of that is daunting. Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. I am sick but I don't know if that's just from lack of sleep or the medication.

Sleep is lovely, death is better still, not to have been born is of course the miracle.

Lunatic me! When will i recover?

Personal: Emotional Side

2009-08-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

8 August 2009

Received your sms again.
Quoting: IM SORRY IF YOU ARE ANGRY. YOU ARE DA WAN WHO SAY U GONNA BE WIT SAM. NOT ME.

Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow, set this place on fire cause I'm tired of your mental tortures. All I needed was a simple hello.

Don't cry for a man who's left you, the next one may fall for your smile.

Malaysia: Pulau Aman, Penang

2009-08-07T08:17:00.000-07:00

2 August 2009

We were about to change an island of dreams into a living hell. Who would have thought an island that tiny would be big enough to hold all our noises? If there is one thing that will make me peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have my stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all my comrades are seasick. I survived!

Make new friends but cherish the old ones. The shortest distance between new friends is a smile.

Family means too much, Friends are too valuable, And life is too short, To put-off sharing with people, How much they really mean to you, And pursuing whatever it is that makes you happy.

Next Stop: Pulau Jerejak, Penang

Personal: Spill it Out!

2009-08-01T16:49:00.001-07:00

2 August 2009

Friendship at first sight, like love at first sight is said to be the only truth. At last I had the courage to it.

Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it? I've learned to trust myself, to listen to truth, to not be afraid of it and to not try and hide it. It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it. I realized i still love you.

I had chosen. The best way to forget you is to look at the world with attention and love.

My close friends and family, the people I love, have been incredibly supportive to me and that's what really matters

Personal: Happy Anniversary

2009-07-24T06:35:00.000-07:00

24 July 2009

I do find the anniversaries particularly difficult, as do as him. We've never had a good one anyway for 6 years being together. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. When one love dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language.

I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left him. I think God leaves me alone to let me find my own strength because no one else can give it to me. Sometimes it is very lonely. But I know the lonely times teach me the most. I must let go in order to let anything in. The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you love them. I am sorry. I do still love you.

Happy 6th Year Anniversary.

希望你理解愛上你有多難
I hope you understand how hard it is to fall in love with you
像童話裡的故事可惡的安排
Like a fairy tale story, a cursed arrangement/fate
明明兩個人都相愛卻偏偏遇阻礙
It's clear two people love one another yet they keep meeting obstacles
非得讓人痛徹心扉才能證明愛存在
Forcing the heart to fill with pain to prove that love exists
我們如何找到出路通往愛的國度
How can we find a way out, to cross love's boundary

閉上眼默唸三遍 Call my name 我就出現
Close your eye, murmur three times, call my name and I'll appear
有時候寂寞難掩像不醒的夢靨
Sometimes, it's hard to hide the loneliness; like a dream I can't wake up from
閉著眼數了三遍你應該要出現
Eyes closed, counted three times; you are suppose to appear
但你卻又食言讓我看不見
but you've gone back on your word, making me unable to see you

如果你能明白這場相愛有多難
If you could understand how difficult this love is
像童話中的傀儡口是心非
Like a puppet in a fairy tale, the heart doesn't match what's said
以為你找到了幸福我卻感到好無助
I thought you had found happiness, but I feel so helpless
只能笑笑去祝福偷偷掉著淚
I can only smile and bless you, shedding tears in secret
我們拼命想找出路通往愛的國度
We struggle to find a way out, to cross the boundary of love

永遠究竟多麼遙遠為何我總無緣無法好好體驗
Just how far away is eternity... Why am I always unfortunate, and unable to truly experience
愛不像你跟我說的簡單像許個願
Love is not like what you told me - as simple as making a wish

Personal: A Better Tomorrow

2009-07-19T06:25:00.000-07:00

19 July 2009

A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart. I failed when:

a) Ai Wah told me she is being followed by a stranger while she was driving. I panicked and all i can do is staring at my MSN chat room blankly; praying she reached home safely. Prayer has comforted us in fear and will help strengthen us for the journey ahead. Then i started to have all those weird thinking for self safety. Stupid me.

b) 1.42am JJ SMS(ed) me that his mum was admitted to the hospital. My reply is: Huh? Is she OK? I should had tried to console him that everything will be fine and he should stay focus to drive home safely to get a good rest.We are easily consoled at the misfortunes of our friends when they enable us to prove our tenderness for them. Instead I kept quite and let him do all the talking. Scored: 0. Bad sister!

c) Kevin told me the ugly truth how stresses out to study Law and Mima had been hiding in the library since we broken up. He had not been seeing much of his buddies since I decided to let him out. He struggled much worse than me. Why am I complaining so much? At least I had my good friends to support me through the hard times for these 6 months! Who knows how long I've loved you, you know I love you still. The voice of life in me cannot reach the ear of life in you; but let us talk that we may not feel lonely.

When I'm home I go out with my friends. I go shopping, I go to travel and I go to movies, ... There's just a certain way you have to do it, and I know how to handle myself and I know how to take care of myself and where I can and can't go and when I can and can't go. It's all do-able. I may have to work a little harder at it. I should be there for them.

The best preparation for tomorrow is to give my life my best today. The future will be better tomorrow. I love you guys

Personal: Sorry Seem to be the Hardest Word.

2009-07-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

13 July 2008

Sorry seems to be the hardest word. One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter. Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for myself. Act for ourselves. Face the truth!

Love means never having to say you're sorry or Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes? If I've done anything I'm sorry for, I'm willing to be forgiven.

I can't get over it...' It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit.

When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.

Malaysia: Malacca

2009-07-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

3 July 2009

Malacca is not a little, old town anymore. There's something for everybody. You get to a certain age and you start to rethink your life and rethink your priorities, ... Traveling to exotic locales like Malacca is not as appealing as it used to be but today i am just speechless. It's a great, rural, old-fashioned town. It always amazes me to think that every house on every street is full of so many stories; so many triumphs and tragedies, and all we see are yards and driveways in Malacca.

I see happiness in space as promising as the view from a Ferris wheel - Eyes of Malacca. The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins. With my best travel mates - Ai Wah, Wei Shwu, Kenny and Kelvin. I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes

I love you guys !

Next Stop: Pulau Aman, Penang

Malaysia: Sungkai, Perak

2009-06-12T22:56:00.000-07:00

20 June 2009

Just let me go, we have to be able to criticize what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if you're not trying to make something better, then as far as I can tell, you are just in the way. If a thing goes without saying -- let it.

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living! I am celebrating with the lined up plans.

Recently placed traveled - Sungkai Perak.We use our advantage going down to Sungkai to play. It is a lot hotter there, but we know what it takes to handle that weather. We went down there and Kelvin did a pretty good job of handling the bad weather driving. Proud! The best thing is the surroundings. You're in the middle of the forest and you have a river flowing next to the hot springs. LOLX.

My Favorites Pics of the day:

Next Stop: Malacca.

Personal: Over It

2009-06-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

12 June 2009

Out of the blue, you waltz back into my heart. When I'm just about over you, you tear me apart. With your smooth talking words, and promises from yesterday. Giving back involves a certain amount of giving up.

Fu chu de chong lai bu hui deng yu shou hui

I used to always think that I'd look back on us crying and laugh, but I never thought I'd look back on us laughing and cry. Darn!

Views: Expectations

2009-06-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

12 June 2009

Hope is a desire with an expectation of accomplishment. Jason told me once to say this to him : I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. Oft expectation fails, and most oft where most it promises; and oft it hits where hope is coldest.

Hard to achieve. I think the secret to true happiness is a combination of low expectations and insensitivity. Happiness equals reality minus expectations. The formula. I knew that your anger always comes from frustrated expectations.

I don't have high expectations anymore. Maybe they've just been beaten out of me. Believe in Love? I still do but i am afraid to get hurt again.

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain. I just cant do it.

I am so afraid to love you, more afraid to lose as i am still clinging to a past. Don't blame me for not replying your sms. We can't even talked, as we continue to fight from the first sentence. Do i still love you? I do. Do i still want to be with you? No. It was emotional. I'm not afraid of crying in front of my brothers. Men don't communicate like that, but I love those guys. Those guys will be my brothers the rest of my life.

I am sorry.

Love: Dogs Story

2009-06-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

6 June 2009

When we first met, I was so impressed with him. But Dom took a dislike to me, just like his character in the play. LOLX! Marley and Me. Boo. I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts. I am. I forgot to feed him! Des I am so sorry.

We are alone, absolutely alone on this house; and amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog has made an alliance with me. Dom I am starting to fall in love with you. Mrs Chin told me " God...sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it... and to know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made better." The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. I am crazy for worrying too much!

Quoted from Marley and Me's : A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, big or small, young or old. He doesn't care if you're not smart, not popular, not a good joke-teller, not the best athlete, nor the best-looking person. To your dog, you are the greatest, the smartest, the nicest human being who was ever born. You are his friend and protector. Yeah i do protect Dom by staying awake for 48 hours.

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings; Dom is not eating. Prediction:, he misses Des. Eventually it felt sick. Bro yup he is a it. Anyway upgraded, my baby! His son. No string attached. Then eventually I dialed 999 for help! Vet - JJ 24 hours alert! Jon - Mr Nanny for 2 days.

No idea. Anyway Dom I love you.

Malaysia: Pulau Langkawi, Kedah

2009-05-30T22:26:00.001-07:00

30 May 2009

A vacation should be just long enough that you're boss misses you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you. Who would have thought an island that tiny would be big enough to hold all our chaos?

Cherish that which is within you, and shut off that which is without; for much knowledge is a curse. Mahsuri's Curse? Eagles: They are not what one would call graceful.When they fly, oh, how they fly, so free, so graceful. They see from the sky what we never see.

Recommended? Definitely! Next Trip to Langkawi: Water sports and island cruising.

Next Stop: Sungkai, Perak

Insight: Culture Shock

2009-05-23T10:57:00.000-07:00

24 May 2009

What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea. Only me duh! Western forces have a hard time understanding Asian forces, how they think and act (Malaysian's mindset!). It is a different culture, and i need to guard against misunderstandings that i am not ready for.

Eastern - So called china man thinking. LOLX Shr and Des hang on! I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Really? So far, the Chinese who have seen through my views tend to see a mix of Eastern and Western cultures. So Martians, raise your hands to Heaven and pray that we'll be back together someday. Joke!

Ignorant him for don't know what good he held in their hands until they've flung it away. Let Go! I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost him; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess because i hold a true friend with both hands. Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing men holding guns than holding hands?

I deeply regret the perception that I had done wrong, ... I never intended any harm...It's a shame this whole mess ever happened. I want to prove that wrong. We had a bad reputation of being an undisciplined friend. I'm really trying to work on changing my reputation (for) having a huge attitude and bad temper and the whole thing. I started to realize a little bit more how stupid it is and how embarrassing it is.

I love doing normal things - movies, shopping, going out with friends, writing, reading, taking hot bubble baths - that's a big one for relaxation. I also love to go to travel. With Him my beloved best friend. I try to keep myself as sane and as grounded as possible by surrounding myself with normal people, such as all the friends that I've had from when I was little. I was lucky growing up, ... I had two wonderful parents who helped me and supported me through my whole career. And I went through high school with normal friends and people treating me like a normal kid. That's the way I want to be. I don't want to be like on a plateau with stars. I want to enjoy life like it should be, with my friends. My whole life has been traveling, so it just seems normal to me, ... I'm able to leave on a bus with eight or nine guys, and I feel really comfortable with it. I've always done it. It's fun. They're all people I get along with really well. They're all my family, my best friends.

Mental note wishing to change the way the world go rounds - Never let go of hope. One day i will see that it all has finally come together. What i have always wished for has finally come to be. I will look back and laugh at what has passed and I will ask myself... 'How did I get through all of that?”. Fingers crossed.

Insight: Sorry...The Truth Hurts

2009-05-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

11 May 2009

The word truth has a variety of meanings, from honesty, good faith, and sincerity in general. You have been in my life and i never planned growing old without you. But when I need you: you're just almost here. I am bruised and battered by your words: dazed and shattered as it hurts.

I wasn't perfect as I've done a lot of stupid things. If I had my way, if I was lucky enough, if I could be on the brink my entire life— that great sense of expectation and excitement without the disappointment— that would be the perfect state.

Des told me : Weeping willow with your tears running down, why do you always weep and frown these few days? Is it because he left you? Is it because he could not stay? On your branches he would swing. Do you long for the happiness that day would bring? He found shelter in other shade. You thought his laughter would never fade. Weeping Willow, stop your tears, for there is something to calm your fears. You think death has ripped you forever apart, but I know he'll always be in your heart. Just let him go

The truth hurts dear. True lovers are the ones who never leave your heart, even if they leave your life for awhile. Even after years apart, you pick up with them right where you left off, and even if they die they're never dead in your heart.

I think God leaves me alone to let me find my own strength because no one else can give it to me. Sometimes it is very lonely. But I know the lonely times teach me the most. I must let go in order to let anything in. No one can love me, for me

Dreams are bad...when all they do is leave the truth behind....and you just walked off

Insight: Men Are Hard To Please

2009-05-07T07:50:00.001-07:00

8 May 2009

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (published in May 1992) is a book by John Gray offering many suggestions for improving husband-wife relationships by understanding the communication style and emotional needs of the opposite gender. The book, as suggested by the title, asserts the notion that men and women are as different as beings from other planets. Phew.

Adapted from Hekmat.net:

Men Are Hard To Please

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;

If u Don't, he says u are a tramp.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh? he left me for a stupid fight)

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;

If he SMOKES, he is a GENTLEMAN.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

& sooo hard to please!!!!!

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......

but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....

The moral of the story is.....men are Martians.

Thoughts : Suprises

2009-05-01T03:21:00.000-07:00

1 May 2009

Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is. LOL.

http://apps.facebook.com/quizdoyouknowme/quiz.jsp?q=418349&p=520062053

Conclusion

1)	How old was I when I went on my first date?

14 - Tricky. Almost every guessed 16. LOL. I thought he was a young man of promise; but it appears he was a young man of promises. I believe that school makes complete fools of our young men, because they see and hear nothing of ordinary life there except girls. I wonder why nobody answers 22.

2) My favorite ice cream's brand is ________.
Haagen Dazz - I love Belgium Chocolate and Green Tea. Easy Question. Almost everyone get it right.

3) My favorite drink is ________.
Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino . -Everyone knows it. Free question.

4) What is my favorite store to shop at?
Somerset Bay.- 70 percent answered GUESS and MNG. LOL. Introduction to Somerset Bay. I love the return of sweetness and lace. Ladylike dressing is beautiful. The designers showed a lot of color this season, either with dresses that were all one color, (or) details such as ribbons, sashes, beading and three-dimensional fabric flowers. Guess: Mum's influenced. Mum: There are so many different kinds of leather, and you'll see very strong architectural leather that has a real rough edge, ... It's sharp and it's tough and it's sexy. (GUESS's HANDBAG!) And then there's leather that's like glove leather, and it's just soft. And there's a leather dress that is like my favorite piece in the collection.(Her collection not mine!) MNG: I'm not more of a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl. I'm not usually all about the tight jeans and little T-shirt, but sometimes I just want to put on a black, sequined dress and be a freaking girl. Thanks to MNG and Forever 21.

5) If I had 1 day left to live, how would I live it?
Cry- I am an optimist that has never had much experience. Jason answered: Try not to become suicidal. When a person becomes very depressed and lethargic, oftentimes having intense suicidal thoughts. I am just one of them sometimes. Wei Shwu and Cathryn answered: Spend it with the people I love. LOL. No, this trick won't work...i don't let love interfere with my appetite. Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than remember me and cry.Yet still we cry. To the question whether I am a pessimist or an optimist, I answer that my knowledge is pessimistic, but my willing and hoping are optimistic.

6) I am most happiest when ________?
Fall in love with someone who loves me back
I have everything I want at that particular moment
Everything is going right and when i feel i have
I'm driving, I feel free, it gives me time to think
- No explanation. LOLX.

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living! Happy Labor Day!

Malaysia: Cameron Highlands, Pahang

2009-04-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

25 May 2009

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. Bullshit Mr Jimmy. Our desires always disappoint us; for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction, yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation. I'm disappointed, but I'm not going to run around like mad women and head-butt somebody.I'm not disappointed - just disappointed. Darn.

Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist.Everyone complains of bad memory, and no one complains of his judgment. As for disappointing them, I should not so much mind; but I can't abide to disappoint myself. So i ended up spending on food.

Go and see the quality of life of the people on the Boh's plantations. People living in shacks, with tin roofs.If a given combination of trees, mountains, water, and houses, say a landscape, is beautiful, it is not so by itself, but because of me, of my favor, of the idea or feeling I attach to it. Cactus valley. It reminds me, to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck that which is planted.

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience. Everyone been on a road trip with their buddies, and the next thing you know you're betting what color car you're going to see next. We can't bet on future. We had a good road trip there a couple weeks back. But today trip was not what we wanted. But that's all we can do, and go on to next trip.

Next stop: Langkawi, Kedah Darul Aman

Personal: Thou Should Not Commit Adultery

2009-04-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

24 April 2009

It's essential to tell the truth at all times. This will reduce life's pain. Lying distorts reality. All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected. If you're going to lie, lie for a friend. If you're going to steal, steal a heart. If your going to cheat, cheat death!

Subject: Grandpa. Let me mourn for my grandma who have died fighting, but rather let me be glad that such man have lived. Life is like a rose. It looks beautiful on the outside...but there is always pain hidden somewhere. JJ's question caught me thinking the whole day which i had been avoiding for 5 years since my grandma lose the battle to cancer. I've spent so much time hiding how I feel. Now I want to be in the spotlight, and I want to make people listen to me.

And the man that committed adultery with another man's wife, even he that committed adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death

Be there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for. My grandpa warn us not to tell my grandma she is dying. Mima, it affects me. Funeral; 49 days later the women came in the picture. I am so ashamed of him.

I had forgave him but never forget my grandma. Offspring, friends and relatives flee. He deserves it. For me, the moral difficulties lie in the continual pressure from my friends and immediate family, pressure which is not directed against me personally but which at the same time is all around me. How could he bring home the other women? I was brought up as a Christian, and my family is still very religious. The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the money.

Respectable means rich, and decent means poor. I should die if I heard my family called respectable. So what. Mum and i don't need it. It's about family and place, and those feelings run deep whether you are rich or poor. Grandpa, we act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be proud about you. The best answer to this anger is silence. Whatever; it begun in anger ends in shame.

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. Trust is really important, just in relationships or friendship in general. I really don't like people that aren't real people around me at all. I don't like people that are 'yes' people. I don't like people that tell me what they think I want to hear. My grandpa failed our family.

Thoughts: Survival Plan

2009-04-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

23 April 2009

What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.My first mission; RM 50 per week. My grandpa and my father used to tell me when you've never had much money and earned little as an illegal construction worker for the first two years, you tend to save your money. The more i get out to the world the less i money i left, and in the long run i shall have to pay the debts at all time that may be very inconvenience for my own survival. Darn RM 50 per week and i had spent almost RM25 just for today for my favorite cappuccino and muffin. Blame it on Starbucks for making me falling in love with it.

Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process. I know at last what distinguishes man from animals; financial worries. Jason you are right. To get money is difficult, to keep it more difficult, but to spend it wisely most difficult of all. I am dome! There is no medicine like hope for being a big spender like me.

I am complaining too much. Shr diet plan: You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. Women are obsessed with weight. The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss, and I do not know which talk is the more boring. I'm gaining weight the wrong way this two years lately. I gained a lot of weight. It just comes from not doing anything and not eating my dad's cooking. Second mission : Sign up for gym class and eat healthily.

Loneliness. Ai Wah and Sharon : exams. JJ: anti-social. Kenny and Wei Shwu: white collar slaves for Toshiba. The gang: recovery period. The quality of life is determined by its activities. What else. Eat good food. (Mission no.2 failed) Shopping (Mission no.1 failed) Broadly speaking, human beings may be divided into three classes: those who are billed to death, those who are worried to death and those who are bored to death. I am facing all of it. Am i dead?

Help me to resist temptation, Lord, especially when I know no one is looking. Branded items. Temptation to own it is terrible! If the shoe fits, wear it but don't buy it anymore. If I have learned one thing in this life, it is that God will not tie my shoes without me. What becomes of the broken-hearted? Unable to buy shoes. There are terrible temptations that it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to. I need to be strong. Arghhh....The only way to handle temptation successfully is to yield to it. Goodbye Guess, Nike, MNG, ELLE, Adidas, Miss Selfridge, Dorothy Perkins, Blay .....

The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step. So i must never neglect any work of peace within my reach. Effective date : 24 April 2009.

Personal: Pursuit of Happiness

2009-04-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

16 April 2009

I'm sitting wondering what he's thinking. Neither of us are listening, and what's even worse, that we don't even remember why we're fighting. I don't want to go to bed, mad at you and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me. There's so much going on it gets hard to breath when all my faith has gone. I've lost sight of where I am meant to be. That's why I've been missing you lately.I guess there's so much more I have to learn.

I'm trying to change to make the best for us. Honestly it's what I want but if you stay with me I know I'll hurt you more. All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. But whether it be dream or truth, to do well is what matters. If it be truth, for truth's sake. If not, then to gain friends for the time when we awaken. Des :(laughing out loud) our believes - First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Forgiveness is a funny thing, it warms the hearts and cools the sting. Forgiveness means letting go of the past. Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it. Even God cannot change the past. It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future, and impossible to live in the past.

Dear; a friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it does not need a little mulch of phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out your faith completely. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy. I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.

Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future. You asked me if i am happy now. I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.

Happiness is what happens to us when we try to make someone else happy. To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. Dear do you realized a happy woman is one who has no cares at all; a cheerful woman is one who has cares but doesn't let them get her down.

All of life is a journey which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is up to us. We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there. Be strong with your decision.

Malaysia: Georgetown, Penang, Bukit Tinggi, Pahang and Batu Caves, Selangor

2009-04-13T03:26:00.001-07:00

13 April 2009

The fact of the matter is, when I'm on tour I'm juggling so hard to keep all the mess in the air that I don't often get to really enjoy what I'm out there doing. Well, we've made some changes on this tour. We've been staying in the hotel most of the day, though I will say inside the hotel we're just having too much fun. Life on the road can get a little one-dimensional. I didn't want to reach 40 and have to say all I'd done was look out the window of my home and get drunk. Suddenly the desire to write tricked back into my life again, not that I would want to tour or go on the road.

Bukit Tinggi, Pahang - Glorious, stirring sight! The poetry of motion French-Village! The real way to travel! The only way to travel! As we are lost. Thankful to the map below. Villages skipped, towns and cities. I can't help but explore other mental territories that are at greater risk, just as i climb the mountain it is more at risk than someone who just walks along a village lane (Japanese Village) The sun does not forget a village just because it is small as it is warm.

Georgetown, Penang - I finally gone back to my old hometown, i find it wasn't the old home i missed but my childhood. Needless to say I was very happy. This is my hometown. Then, the next day, my dreams came crashing down. I understand that this is a business and you can't take stuff personally, but it was a very, very tough time. Georgetown is a paradise for food and hell for driving (Drivers: aiya no parking and jam). Tropical Spice Museum, Fort Cornwallis, Penang Museum, Cendol, you named it.

Batu Caves, Selangor - Temples and statues of the gods to go to. I have to walk up each step to get to the top of the staircase. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. (I just able to reach step 36 gosh)

We are all travellers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend, Wei Shwu, Ai Wah, Kelvin Sing's Brother. Like all great travellers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen

Next Stop : Cameron Highlands, Pahang

Personal: Birthday

2009-04-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

10 April 2009

Happy birthday to me. Surprises, love and happiness,such a pleasure in my life;for today. He remembers my birthday!

To Cath and Sharon : For all the time you spend; For all the kind things that you do,Thank you; thank you, friend.Thank you, friend, for all the things. That mean so much to me. I learn so much from you; you help me see old things in new ways.

To Kenny (Kelvin's Sing Brother) and Wei Shwu : Treasured friend, I’m glad I found two of you; Our friendship is a gift we share.I can be myself around you, Safe in your trust and care. You know what I’m talking about: Spicy eating competition! Kelvin i miss you so much. I just cant wait to see you in May.

To Mima : We’re creatures of the fire. Stop Fighting! If not for you, I wouldn’t know what true love really meant.I’d never feel this inner peace;I couldn’t be content. Our love is the long lasting kind; We’ve been together quite awhile.I love you for so many things. Take care.

To Dina, Yuen Chin, Rune, Khor, Ryan, JJ, Kar Ling, Ying Ying, Kim, Sear Shen, Li Ling, Wei Shen, Christal, Poh Ling and others(sorry i could not name it out all): I’m so blessed I found you as my priceless prize; You’re a treasure in every way. Buddies!

Dear all: Because of You:

I was self sufficient,
gratified by my independence,
alone, but not lonely,
I thought.
But I was restless,
searching blindly for something
to fill an empty place
I didn't even know I had,
dimly aware
that I was somehow unfinished.
Then you came,
and filled everything,
every space, every need,
even secret dreams
I had concealed from myself.
I was self sufficient,
and restless;
Now I am profoundly peaceful
and complete,
because of you.

Thanks.

Thoughts : RM500 Survival Challenge

2009-04-08T06:55:00.000-07:00

8 April 2009

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward. I've been advised to keep my four feet on the floor and all hands on deck.I love shopping, especially fashion shopping. The rules are the same. Look for something I'll feel comfortable wearing purchase it. When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. So am i. I don't shop because I need something, I just shop for shopping's sake.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, we love money.A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. My team mates recently propose a challenge : RM500 survival for food and entertainment (socializing) Darn. I took up the challenge anyway; effective May 01 2009. But I have had to give up certain things in my life. One is shopping. Two is lunch with the girls. Three is parties and four is my so called quality living.

This challenge make me discover things about myself that i never really knew. My life has always been a series of challenges and I'm psychologically-prepared but this is the biggest challenge of my life. RM500.

Personal: Different Direction

2009-04-05T02:11:00.000-07:00

5 April 2009

Lovers resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes in between them. Gosh. I am such an idiot. Relationships are like crystals, you don't realize how much you love it until it breaks. Cathryn: Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction. I am one of those who never knows the direction of my journey until I have almost arrived. Then she made me realized, you can't row a boat in two directions at the same time. This life has taught me that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. Which we both failed so badly.

I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving: as long as i keep my head and my heart in the right direction and I'll never have to worry about my feet. I don't know. People always think that there has got to be a dark side to everyone, a closet with skeletons, demons under the bed. I am the opposite one. When I'm trusting and being myself as fully as possible, everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously.I am a stupid girl and ask a stupid question. Kenny i know you must had totally agreed with this about our Serina Bay case.

Life will be better if you count your smiles instead of your tears; count your courage instead of your fears. Unhappiness does make people look stupid. Dear I am I and you are you, and if in the end we are together, then it is beautiful. But i am scare. We had missed all the beautiful colors of the rainbow looking for that pot of gold. Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love as we dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes and we dance for screams together. We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion. I know the world is filled with troubles and many injustices. Keep your faith in all beautiful things; in the sun when it is hidden, in the Spring when it is gone.

Dear, don't forget to pack your courage for your journey to greatness. You are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. Some think that love is all flowers and good times, but I think that love is more than just that. Love is the bad, as well as the better, not lived alone, but a journey together. We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly; spending quiet time alone gives my mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.

Dreams: Birthday Wish

2009-04-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

2 April 2009

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. My Birthday supposed to be a special day, one that's just for me, a time for doing everything, i have always wanted to do. We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. However, it is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me

What i want for my birthday? Teddy bears and photos and party! Perhaps I rely on my imagination. It's been long since i had celebrated my birthday on the exact date. He's been telling me maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I wonder did he remember my birthday.

Sigh. My friends asked me what do i expect from them? There are not many things in life so beautiful as true friendship, and not many things more uncommon. I want books maybe. LOL Shreeram: We'd been talking about that novel titled "Accidentally Virgin" i know you'll be making the passing out sounds. If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry. However i had absolutely no idea what this author trying out there to impress me.It is not all books that are as dull as their readers. What are you trying to tell me here? Huh!

Flowers? Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old Time is still a-flying. And this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying. Perhaps with a few flowers in my garden, half a dozen pictures and some books, I live without envy.What the purpose anyway?

All i want is to be home. It's frustrating to be asked "What's your name? Do you live around here? Don't I know your face?" Damn. Maybe I was crazy I guess I was sometimes. It was something that I believed a dream that was driving me. It was Him. I wanna thank him for making smile but I am the type who don't say this much. I just wanna thank him for the love that he gave me. I wish him well as if he could not find peace within himself, he will never find it anywhere else. This separation; as distance tests our strength. Time reveals our character. Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.

Personal: Should I Trust You

2009-03-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

31 March 2009

Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust. I always tell myself that someone who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.

For the continuous; 3 days I've been asked "Should I trust you?". Let this be my last word, that I trust in my love but not yours. It is as impossible for a man to be cheated by any one but himself, as for a thing to be and not to be at the same time.

Once i been told, real love is when you become selfless and you are more concerned about your mate's egos than your own. You're now a giver instead of a taker. I was so wrong. I realized that love it's an ordeal, and the ordeal is the sacrifice of ego to a relationship in which two have become one.

I found i could not answer him as what's to come is still unsure. I'm unsure about what I'm going to be doing in a month, let alone a year from now. But as of now, my intention is to keep working and keep doing what it is that I do.

For 5 years i had tried by believing love will come to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.

How do we, humans know when it is time to move on? I may forget what you said, but I will never forget how you made me feel. Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad. Dear, finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely.

Malaysia: Ipoh, Perak

2009-03-29T04:07:00.000-07:00

28 March 2009

Dim Sum for breakfast. Poppiah for lunch. Bean Sprout Chicken for dinner. Kellie's castle is impressing while the Ipoh's white coffee is a disappointment. The caves - Kek Lok Tong, Sam Poh Tong and i could not remember all the names.

Driving down to south with the Starbucks jokes was real hilarious. I tried to close my eyes and imagine what's on Mr Kellie's mind while he was building his own castle. Initiative is key. Anybody who wants to be somebody is going to work as hard as they can to fulfill that dream. While i am standing there the spooky feeling disappears. It makes me believe that one of the hardest things you can do is conquer your fears, but if you have a goal, then it's your job to open up and let it be real no matter how scary it seems.

Next Stop: Bukit Tinggi, Pahang

Malaysia: Taiping, Perak

2009-03-22T02:02:00.000-07:00

11 December 2007

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. I took out the old CD stalked under my bed and I found this piece of memory hidden for almost a year under my bed. Taiping trip!. “The best things in life come in threes, like friends, dreams, and memories.”

There’s nothing much I could remember regarding this trip. I could just remember the Taiping Zoo is smelly but fun to be in. Meanwhile, the Lake Garden is a beauty at sight and the night spent in Juru Autocity is no fun at all as everyone was tired.

I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings. Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them. And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the faith to go on.

Next stop: Ipoh, Perak